Vomit In My Hair

My back aches, my legs are cramped, the house is a mess and I have a small amount of vomit in my hair… And yet, my heart is full and I feel great.

A nasty virus has been making its way through our community. So far our family has steered clear of the bug, until this morning that is, when my baby daughter (21 mos) woke up and promptly vomited. The rest of us are still healthy (fingers crossed!).

Initially I was bummin’ pretty hard upon learning of my daughter’s illness. Firstly for the most obvious reason, a sick child is distressing and difficult to care for. I’ve heard horror stories of this flu bug from others. It’s violent and completely miserable. Enduring such agony yourself is hard enough. Watching your child suffer through it, knowing they don’t understand what is wrong, is heartbreaking. As a mother, I hate feeling helpless as my son or daughter is struggling.

Another reason I was bummed out this morning is because I had to stay home and miss out on soccer. Both my boys have soccer games Saturday mornings and I am even the coach for one of them. I love these mornings. They’ve turned into a fun-filled family tradition for us over the years. Missing out on cheering for my kids and coaching my team is a big disappointment. (My husband did not have the option of remaining at home with our daughter because not only is he also a soccer coach, but he’s the Site Coordinator for the league, making his presence kinda necessary. )

However, I pick up my sick daughter and clean her up. We make our way downstairs and head directly for the couch. She is clearly miserable and wants nothing more than to crumple into my arms. I oblige. I then survey the area. I cringe. The house is a mess. Friday nights are late for us as my husband and I play our own soccer games. Then we’re up and at ‘em again first thing in the morning for the boys’ games. This means that the house is usually left in disarray until I clean it up properly after returning later in the day. Last night the dishwasher was full of clean dishes and due to our tiredness, instead of clearing it out and re-filling it, we just piled up all the dirty ones in the sink. Some got left on the surrounding countertops as well. Yuck. A few toys are scattered about the floor that the kids failed to tidy appropriately and a pile of clean, folded laundry is patiently sitting on the couch just waiting to be put away.

I sigh audibly. I hate messes. I spend a good portion of every day cleaning up after everyone in order to keep a clutter-free house. In reality I fail miserably at this task, having three young, active children plus a husband. But I try, nonetheless. So I’m sitting here holding my precious little girl, getting a good look at my littered house, and every fiber in my being is yearning to break free and clean it all up. I literally have to force myself to remain seated. I know I need to be a good mom and be with my daughter, but I am dying to rescue my house. As I’m contemplating my mental conflict my daughter begins to throw up again. We race to the sink and I hold her frail body over the side as she empties the contents of her stomach. Poor thing.

I spend the next three hours repeating this procedure. I hold her for about 15-20 minutes, then we rush to the sink just in time for her to hurl. I wipe her face off, give her a sip of water, then sit back down. About thirty minutes into the routine I begin to let go of my cleaning obsession and relax. I realize, quite suddenly how fortunate I am at this precise moment. I get to spend uninterrupted hours alone with my baby. This never happens! I never just sit with any of my kids. They are way too active to sit. Not only are we sitting, but I am holding her closely. Her body molds into mine as she lays back against me, completely trusting her being to me. It’s a heartwarming feeling.

Now, instead of feeling anxious about my unkempt house and disappointed at missing out on the soccer games, I feel exhilarated that I have this special time with my child. She needs me and I am here for her, completely and wholly here for her. No distractions, no other obligations, nothing. Right now she is my only concern. I release everything else and relish this bonding. My boys are with their father, I secured another coach to sub for me, and the dirty dishes will still be there later. There truly is nothing hindering me from giving my all to my daughter. So I do.

Three hours later I am still holding her, in basically the same position, thus the aches and pains in my body. We have made numerous trips to the sink (the poor girl is definitely not well) but she has dozed off and been blissfully snoozing for a half hour. I’m so glad she’s asleep. She can finally get a break from the horrendous vomiting. I slowly stand up and carry her upstairs to bed. My heart is full. And I will be here still when she wakes up. In the meantime I’m just going to quickly wash her vomit out of my hair…